Vegetarianism Vs. Carnivorism-The RESULTS!!!



I don't think carnivorism is actually a word, but whatever. It's the moment you all have been waiting for! The results of the poll on whether I, Rika Gemmell-Meyer should start eating meat again. (for a re-cap on what this is all about, see the original post here).

This vote was a doozie folks, I'll tell you what. Vegetarians lagged behind in the voting from the get-go. Passionate people, most excited by flesh came to the polls and declared that all men and women were created equal and designed to eat the animals that walk the earth. Even Aaron, my loving husband, assured me that if God didn't want people to eat animals, He wouldn've have made them out of meat.

As I tallied up the votes, my heart started racing. I began to sweat as I nervously thought about that first dripping steak. Would I be able to finish it all in one sitting? Would I hear the dead cow softly mooing in my ear?

The votes were in, and very clear. The carnivores had dominated the vegetarians, a whopping 49-30.

Now, I didn't give it a second look, until I found something very suspicious reading the votes. Turns out that many of the carnivore posts were cast by the same computer, over and over again, only a few seconds apart. Now unless someone was having a party and letting each guest take a hit at sealing my ingestive fate, I suspect that there was a bit of cheatin goin on.

So I went through each vote, and after meticulously casting a recount, here are the new and clean results:

Vegetarians: 30
Meat Eaters: 25
Cases of cheating: 5 (all meat eaters)

What does this tell me, and the public wrestling with their own dilemma in eating? Meat eaters are a bunch of lying, cheating, murderous cheaters (just watch Food Inc., and see what the meat industry has done in America!). And I'm so glad that I don't have to become one of them. You all should be ashamed of yourselves!

I'm going to go eat a brick of tofu now. And read In Defense of Food.

8 comments:

Montie said...

My response in haiku:

I voted too much
Till you audited the poll
Care for some chicken?

Montie said...

and:

My hands are red
Please have no beef with me
I prefer mine rare

Victoria Goepfert said...

This is the best blog entry I've ever read. Mostly because as a vegetarian I am happy to still have a comrade, but also because I had to stop myself several times from voting again (good thing I didn't). I think that your conclusion of vegetarian = honest, decent, human being is VERY accurate. Congrats on being mad cow free.

Heather said...

I was a veggie vote. Wahoo!

You don't know me. I read cause I want to be having the same adventure and hope to some day. You might know my boyfriend, Jeremy, from the GA program at Southern. Either way, thanks for writing. Thanks for sharing.

Brenda said...

Yay for tofu!!!! Now you just need to convert that husband of yours...good luck with that! lol... Love and miss you guys!

Eileen said...

My chest is all swelled up (with pride)! You are smart, wise, and will probably stay very healthy! Woo Hoo! I'm soooooo happy!

Two Sisters said...

YAAA!!!!! Rika. It would have been really funny if it had been Aaron who had voted multiple times. Stick with the veggie's they always win in the end. hope you guys are having fun.

e. said...

You are TOO funny! Thanks for making Ted and I laugh out loud (we need it). We love the Vogue cover too! Carry on making the world a better place.

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